tired ` physically , mentally `went to work this morning at 9 ` went into giant at 10 `
the first person ii saw was .. aunty jenny .not sure if i'd updated about her during last december `
but in my overall fear , she's one of them ` cant be bothered to elaborate now `
she gave me a hug upon seeing me . and she said somethings that made me feel really dam scared and stressed . she sae now that im back they'll have another helper again .
[ this moment all the pains and unwillingness of the past came back . i began asking myself . wang jin mei , have you forgotten how much u dreaded to get out of giant last time ? serve you right back here ! ]
she said alot of things . that made me feel and recall those busy and stressed time .for the rest of the day ..
with the way she talks and behaves [ im sorry but thats her ] ii felt like crying for the whole day `
maybe im feeling down after she said all these but im not sure if its really because of this .
then there was a few min of time when ii thinked of those thing ii discussed with mum`
ii said '' why are ppl so wu liao to jump off the buliding nowadays ? ''
she '' some ppl just xiang bu kai '' and i finally understand the meaning .
it was overwhelming and i felt i need a break from everything .few days / last week . i've already started to cry for no reason . it feels really so bad . i almost ran away from work just now .
i was eating at Lvl 3 , the park ii use to eat always . as i was eating , tears seasoned my food .
there're ppl around . i cried silently . i believe there're ppl who sees me with teary red eyes .
but that was the first time ii ever dare to cry when im eating , alone .
couldnt be bothered about feeling paiseh or wad ever shyt .
smsed dennis & ben de ` thanks both of u ; ] i felt better after that `
saw Harry `that malay guy who jus joined last year when ii was about to quit ` didnt know that he's still with us !
ii tot he might have quitted long ago ` but no lurh`so helped him a bit as ii didnt really know what to do ` morever we're in the same department under the same supervisor and supposed to do the same things `
he gave me a penknife . he ask me dun qo buy ` he insists that he have alot ` so i accepted , feeling bad `
so nice of him `
was about to head to punch out card already ` den saw jenny aunty !
god dam it ` my expression changed .
but i was lucky as she was actually also rushing off to attend wedding dinner `
else ii might have to stay behind for like at least 30min` always liddat `
next time wan go home better run faster zzz ` took the shuttle bus home `
asked terry about reporting time tmr and he said 11` means ii will finish work at 7 `
ii dun wanna think about tmr ` just let it be already `
anyway this cominq off day ii should be qoinq for an Xray at my area `
if there's somethinq wronq i'll probably ask for transfer to become a promoter `
the feeling of this time and last time is different ` ii seem to have weakend `
why ?